WASHINGTON-Brainstorming the wondrous features and amenities as they came to
him in a flash of inspiration, President Donald Trump on Wednesday accidentally
recorded over the tape containing his meetings with fired FBI Director James Comey
with an idea for a candy hotel. "There could be a revolving door made out of
peppermint swirl, and then you walk in, and there's a giant lobby with chocolate
fountains, peanut brittle columns, and beautiful rock candy chandeliers," said
Trump into a handheld cassette recorder, replacing over 90 minutes of crucially
important conversations that could be used as key evidence in determining whether
obstruction of justice occurred with musings about a gumdrop garden and olympic-sized
pudding pool. "The ballroom could have a hard caramel floor with ornate wall designs
carved into stucco made from nougat, and then red taffy curtains and a Jolly Rancher
piano-oh, and all the beds would be made out of marshmallow, and the sheets could be
cotton candy." After realizing his mistake, Trump reportedly became paranoid that if
the FBI got access to the tapes, they could steal his idea.